Round 2 of Writing With the Stars Competition

In case you haven't heard, I have some really great news!! I've made it on to the 2nd round of the Writing With the Stars Competition!!!!

Our second challenge was to write a character description for our hero and heroine, no more than 150 words! :0 Do you know how hard that is? LOL

Here's my description, as well as my mentor's comments, and the comments of the 2nd round judge:

HERO: Gavin McLeod has spent the past 12 years climbing the corporate ladder of Holden Enterprises, positioning himself to become the next CEO. While the climb has netted him financial wealth, allowing him to provide for the grandfather who raised him, Gavin realizes it's also left him on the brink of ethical bankruptcy. He's torn between family obligations, a boss he views as a father-figure, salvaging his self-respect and the woman who's starting to mean everything.

HEROINE: Sunny Black is a hard-working woman whose inner light and capacity to love touches everyone. She was forced to adopt a never-give-up attitude at 10 when her mother took off and Sunny took on the care-taking of her 1-year-old brother. Once again, she's forced to dig deep and find that inner strength as she fights to save her business and falls in love with a man she's not sure she can trust.

Mentor HelenKay Dimon: She worked really hard revising these descriptions to emphasize the characters' internal and external struggles and focus on who they are rather than just the plot points. She wanted them to be multifaceted and did a good job of portraying that. Fitting the important information in such few words was a challenge, but she kept editing until she got it!

Miriam's comments: These descriptions are very clear and I like the way they are put into a natural state of conflict. The only thing we could get a little bit more of is what actually attracts them to each other, but it's a minor quibble, this is a very solid description.


The judge's comments were kind and encouraging and I wish I could take all the credit. But that would be ridiculous!!! HelenKay Dimon is an incredible mentor and I am soooo blessed to have been paired up with her.

If you haven't already, please drop by RTBookReviews.com and exercise your right to vote. :)

I also want to send a special salute to all the veterans. This includes Silver and Paula!! Special hugs to both of you!

Have a great day!!
Peace and love,
Alannah