Thursday, December 23, 2010

The True Story of Rudolph

The True Story of Rudolph


A man named Bob May, depressed and brokenhearted, stared out his drafty apartment window into the chilling December night.

His 4-year-old daughter Barbara sat on his lap quietly sobbing. Bob's wife, Evelyn, was dying of cancer Little Barbara couldn't understand why her mommy could never come home. Barbara looked up into her dad's eyes and asked, "Why isn't Mommy just like everybody else's Mommy?" Bob's jaw tightened and his eyes welled with tears. Her question brought waves of grief, but also of anger. It had been the story of Bob's life. Life always had to be different for Bob.

Small when he was a kid, Bob was often bullied by other boys. He was too little at the time to compete in sports. He was often called names he'd rather not remember. From childhood, Bob was different and never seemed to fit in. Bob did complete college, married his loving wife and was grateful to get his job as a copywriter at Montgomery Ward during the Great Depression. Then he was blessed with his little girl. But it was all short-lived. Evelyn's bout with cancer stripped them of all their savings and now Bob and his daughter were forced to live in a two-room apartment in the Chicago slums. Evelyn died just days before Christmas in 1938.

Bob struggled to give hope to his child, for whom he couldn't even afford to buy a Christmas gift. But if he couldn't buy a gift, he was determined to make one - a storybook! Bob had created an animal character in his own mind and told the animal's story to little Barbara to give her comfort and hope. Again and again Bob told the story, embellishing it more with each telling. Who was the character? What was the story all about? The story Bob May created was his own autobiography in fable form. The character he created was a misfit outcast like he was. The name of the character? A little reindeer named Rudolph, with a big shiny nose. Bob finished the book just in time to give it to his little girl on Christmas Day. But the story doesn't end there.

The general manager of Montgomery Ward caught wind of the little storybook and offered Bob May a nominal fee to purchase the rights to print the book. Wards went on to print,_ Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer_ and distribute it to children visiting Santa Claus in their stores. By 1946 Wards had printed and distributed more than six million copies of Rudolph. That same year, a major publisher wanted to purchase the rights from Wards to print an updated version of the book.

In an unprecedented gesture of kindness, the CEO of Wards returned all rights back to Bob May. The book became a best seller. Many toy and marketing deals followed and Bob May, now remarried with a growing family, became wealthy from the story he created to comfort his grieving daughter. But the story doesn't end there either.

Bob's brother-in-law, Johnny Marks, made a song adaptation to Rudolph. Though the song was turned down by such popular vocalists as Bing Crosby and Dinah Shore , it was recorded by the singing cowboy, Gene Autry. "Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer" was released in 1949 and became a phenomenal success, selling more records than any other Christmas song, with the exception of "White Christmas."

The gift of love that Bob May created for his daughter so long ago kept on returning back to bless him again and again. And Bob May learned the lesson, just like his dear friend Rudolph, that being different isn't so bad. In fact, being different can be a blessing.



I didn't fact check this story because I just chose to believe it's true. :)

I hope everyone is having a relatively stress-free holiday so far!!

Peace and love,
Alannah

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Hump Day Humor....

IT CAN BE HARD KEEPING A STRAIGHT FACE AS A COURT REPORTER

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said , 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No , I just lie there.
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget...
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
___________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do..
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep , he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old , how old is he?
WITNESS: He's 20, much like your IQ.
___________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitting me?
_________________________________________

ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death..
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.
_____________________________________

ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them...The live ones put up too much of a fight.
_________________________________________

ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral , OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral...
_________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not , he was by the time I finished.
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?
______________________________________

And last:

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No..
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.


Silver, I thought of Lawyer guy as I read these. I bet he has a few good stories he could add to this book. :)

Have a great Hump Day everyone!!
Peace and love,
Alannah

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Food For Thought...

"Deliberately seek the company of people who influence you to think and act on building the life you desire."

Napoleon Hill
1883-1970, Author


Have a fantastic Tuesday!!

Peace and love,
Alannah

Friday, December 17, 2010

Welcome Back...Meredith Simmons

Back in October, I invited fellow Writing With the Stars finalist Meredith Simmons to guest blog and talk about her travels across the country. You may remember that Merry was getting ready to leave on a month long cruise of the South Pacific, and today's she's back to tell us about her trip. Please give her a warm welcome!!!

Thanks, Alannah, for inviting me back to talk about our latest travel adventure. We got home about three weeks ago from a month-long cruise of the South Pacific. What an incredible journey!

My husband and I flew to Sydney, Australia and boarded the Sapphire Princess – a beautiful ship. Now I previously talked about “frugal” travel, but I have to admit that this once-in-a-lifetime trip doesn’t quite fall into the inexpensive category. I still managed to stretch our travel dollar, however, and I’ll get to some hints after I give an over-view of the cruise.

We left Australia and crossed the Tasman Sea to the west coast of New Zealand where we cruised Fjordland National Park. The most famous of these fjords is Milford Sound, an area of truly spectacular scenery where steep mountains crash into the sea. We then sailed around the southern tip of New Zealand’s South Island to ports on the east coast. We visited Dunedin, Christchurch, and Wellington. A special treat in Wellington was meeting my Writing with the Stars mentor, Brava author Bronwen Evans. She was the one who told me I’d made it to the second round of the WWTS contest and the two of us ended up happy-dancing all around the entrance to the TePapa Museum while my husband pretended he didn’t know us. Bronwen gave us a wonderful personal tour of New Zealand’s capitol, which I can describe in one word – windy!

Our last port in NZ was Auckland, on the north of the North Island. This is the country’s largest city, but we didn’t stay there long, choosing instead to go to the Waitomo Glowworm Caves. This tour allowed us to see a lot of the countryside, something we try to do whenever possible. New Zealand has a vast amount of beautiful and impressive scenery. It’s no wonder Lord of the Rings was filmed there.

We then sailed to islands scattered across the Pacific – Fiji, American Samoa, Moorea, Tahiti, and Bora Bora. Each had its own special charm, but all were postcard pretty with oddly shaped mountains piercing incredibly blue skies, wide beaches of either white or black sand bordered by tall palms, and everything surrounded by sparkling, aqua seas. My favorite was Moorea, which is the sister island to Tahiti, but isn’t quite as “touristy.”

After a number of days at sea, we arrived at the Hawaiian Islands, stopping at both Honolulu and Lahaina. What can I say about Hawaii? Lovely! From there we sailed to Los Angeles and flew back to North Carolina – the end of a terrific odyssey.

I’d thought with so many sea days on this cruise I’d get a lot of writing done. Well, that didn’t happen. There was always so much to do on the ship. We particularly enjoyed two really interesting lecture series, but my favorite activity was talking to new friends around the pool. And then there was all the food…

As I mentioned earlier, this trip fell into the “Big Splurge” category, but we still did all we could to stretch our travel dollar. We used air-miles to fly from North Carolina to Australia, a savings of about $2,500. And then, we stayed in an interior cabin instead of one with a balcony since adding the balcony would have been an additional $3000 for a trip of this length. Now I’m not one of those travelers who say balcony rooms aren’t all that important. I love a balcony. But the compromise here was having an interior room on the Lido deck. In just a few steps we could be outside at one of the pool areas and we used this as our really big balcony – except this one came with a swimming pool, a couple of hot tubs and often, live music. Very nice! So my frugal hint is to look for an interior room with such easy access to an outside area. You can save your money but still enjoy all the perks of a balcony.

As I write this, we’re having a mixture of snow and sleet – but all those beautiful islands make for warm memories. Hey, Alannah, are you ready to pack your bags?


You know I am!!! I don't handle the cold well, and this snow/sleet mess isn't making me happy. In case I didn't mention it before, Merry and I are neighbors! We live about 45 minutes from each other, which is crazy considering this contest was open to contestants from all over the world!

Thanks for sharing the details of your trip with us.

Now....

I have an annoucement to make and I'm so sorry I've failed to share this information with ya'll before now. I wasn't allowed to tell anyone the news until this past Monday, and by then, I'd forgotten that it was actually "news."

The bad new is, I was eliminated in the last round of the WWTS competition. The good news is, I've been contacted by an agent who learned of me because of the contest. While I was in the contest I couldn't share LAST CALL with an agent or another publisher. Now I can! :)

Since I'm no longer in the contest, I'm going to ask you to vote for Merry. I'd love to see a fellow Eastern NC writer win this contest!!!! Here's the link to go to RT's website and cast your vote.

Have a great weekend!!!
Peace and love,
Alannah

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Pineapple Cookies

I think I might have posted this recipe last year, but decided to do it again. Pineapple cookies are my absolute favorite, and one of the few traditions I've kept from my childhood. I've been trying to hold off on making these, because as soon as I do, I'll sit down and eat the entire batch!!
Pineapple Cookies

2 Cups sifted flour
1 teaspoon Baking powder
Few grains salt
1 teaspoon baking soda
½ cup margarine
1 cup light brown sugar
1 cup crushed pineapple
1 egg
1 teaspoon vanilla

Drain pineapple well, reserving liquid for icing. Sift flour, baking powder and salt. Dissolve baking soda in pineapple. Smoosh butter, add sugar – blend well. Add egg and vanilla, mix well. Gradually add sifted ingredients – mixing after each addition. Blend in pineapple

Bake 6-8 minutes at 375


Icing:

2 Cups powdered sugar
3 Tablespoons pineapple juice

Mixed up and smeared on top of cookies. :)

Happy Thursday!!
Peace and love,
Alannah

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Hump Day Humor....

I got this in an e-mail from a friend of mine. I read it while sitting in the lobby at Duke, when we were there a few weeks and have to admit I did laugh until I cried! I'm sure everyone sitting around me wondered what the hell was so funny, and I wish I could've shared this with all of them because it is hilarious!! Enjoy!!!


ONLY A MAN WOULD ATTEMPT THIS

Just try reading this without laughing till you cry!!! I can actually see my boys trying this...

Pocket Tazer Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife.

A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Tazer for their anniversary submitted this:

Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife, Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized Tazer.

The effects of the Tazer were supposed to be short lived, with no long term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety...??

WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home... I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button and pressed it against a metal surface at the same time, I'd get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs.

AWESOME!!! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.

Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two AAA batteries, right?

There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target.

I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and then thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised.

Am I wrong?

So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and Tazer in another.

The directions said that:

a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant;

a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; and

a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water.

Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.

All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference (loaded with two itsy, bitsy AAA batteries); pretty cute really, and thinking to myself, "no possible way!"

What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best.

I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side so as to say, "Don't do it stupid," reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny lil ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad. I decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it.

I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and...

HOLY MOTHER OF GOD. WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION. WHAT THE... !!!

I'm pretty sure Hulk Hogan ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs! The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room.

Note:
If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a Tazer, one note of caution:

There is NO such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor!
A three second burst would be considered conservative!

A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape.

. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace.
. The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was.
. My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching.
. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs.
. I had no control over the drooling.
. Apparently I had crapped in my shorts, but was too numb to know for sure, and my sense of smell was gone.
. I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head, which I believe came from my hair.

I'm still looking for my testicles and I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return!

PS: My wife can't stop laughing about my experience, loved the gift and now regularly threatens me with it!

If you think education is difficult, try being stupid!!!!


Have a fantastic Hump Day!!!
Peace and love,
Alannah

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Food For Thought...

"Before you begin a thing remind yourself that difficulties and delays quite impossible to foresee are ahead. You can only see one thing clearly, and that is your goal. Form a mental vision of that and cling to it through thick and thin."

Kathleen Norris
1880-1966, Novelist


Have a fantastic Tuesday!
Peace and love,
Alannah

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Hump Day Humor - Hollywood Squares

I remember my grandmother watching Hollywood Squares every afternoon when I was a kid. Most of the time I didn't get the jokes, but I laughed like I did anyway. Now I get the jokes!! Some of these are hysterical and I hope you enjoy them as much as I did!


These great questions and answers are from the days when "Hollywood Squares" game show responses were spontaneous, not scripted, as they are now. Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of course...


Q. Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat?
A. Paul Lynde: Loneliness!
(The audience laughed so long and so hard it took up almost 15 minutes of the show!)


Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.


Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.


Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years...
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.


Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
A.. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.


Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?
A. Rose Marie: No wait until morning.


Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.


Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say "I Love You?"
A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.


Q. What are "Do It," "I Can Help," and "I Can't Get Enough?"
A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.


Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking?
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget.


Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.


Q.. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?
A.. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.


Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.


Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps.. One is politics, what is the other?
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.


Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.


Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.


Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?


Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.


Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.


Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected.


Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.


Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?


Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him


Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A. Charley Weaver: His feet.


Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?
A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh


Have a fabulous Hump Day!!!

Peace and love,
Alannah

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Food For Thought...

"Devotion is commitment at a deep cellular level. When you are devoted, the universe will align itself to give you what you desire."

Rich German
Author of Monetize Your Passion


Have a wonderful day!
Peace and love,
Alannah

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Thursday Funny....

I've been dealing with a migraine for days. Because of that, I've been in a fog and let everything slip! Somewhere, around the middle of the day yesterday, I realized it was Wednesday and I hadn't posted the hump day humor. So, I'm posting some funnies today.

Off to Duke again. Last time was to meet with the neurologist - and so far, so good on the new meds. The appointment today is to check the MRI they did yesterday and make sure everyrhing is looking good. No reason to think it won't be great, but a few good vibes and prayers would be appreciated, if you don't mind. :)

Hope these give you a smile!!



One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very Sexy nightie. "Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want."

So he tied her up and went golfing.

*****************************************

A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, "Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!"

The husband said, "Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?"

"Doesn't matter," she said. "Just get out."


********************************************


Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is a husband.


Have a fantastic Thursday!!!!

Peace and love,
Alannah