Roger, 85, married Jenny, a lovely 25 year old.
Since her new husband is so old, Jenny decides that after their wedding she and Roger should have separate bedrooms, because she is concerned that her new but aged husband may over-exert himself if they spend the entire night together.
After the wedding festivities Jenny prepares herself for bed and the expected knock on the door. Sure enough the knock comes, the door opens and there is Roger, her 85 year old groom, ready for action. They unite as one. All goes well, Roger takes leave of his bride, and she prepares to go to sleep.
After a few minutes, Jenny hears another knock on her bedroom door, and it's Roger, Again he is ready for more "action." Somewhat surprised, Jenny consents for more coupling. When the newly weds are done, Roger kisses his bride, bids her a fond good night and leaves.
She is set to go to sleep again, but, aha, you guessed it - Roger is back again, rapping on the door and is as fresh as a 25-year-old, ready for more "action." And, once more they enjoy each other.
But as Roger gets set to leave again, his young bride says to him, "I am thoroughly impressed that at your age you can perform so well and so often. I have been with guys less than a third of your age who were only good once. You are truly a great lover, Roger."
Roger, somewhat embarrassed, turns to Jenny and says, "You mean I was here already?"
hehehe
Happy Hump Day!!!
Peace and Love,
Alannah
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Food For Thought...
"Each problem has hidden in it an opportunity so powerful that it literally dwarfs the problem. The greatest success stories were created by people who recognized a problem and turned it into an opportunity."
Joseph Sugarman
Marketing Expert
Have a great Tuesday!
Peace and love,
Alannah
Joseph Sugarman
Marketing Expert
Have a great Tuesday!
Peace and love,
Alannah
Friday, October 22, 2010
Change of Program
I said yesterday that HelenKay would be visiting with us today, but she's under the weather and wasn't able to get me her blog post. As soon as she's better, we'll reschedule - hopefully one day next week.
So, what am I reading?
J.R. Ward's CRAVE!!!!
My awesome friend, Liza, was kind enough to get me an autographed copy at the Kentucky booksigning. I managed to wait an entire twenty-four hours before starting on it.
Now, the real test will be...can I use it as a reward for getting my writing done each day. Or will discipline totally fly out the window and I won't write another word until after I've finished the book? LOL
Anyone want to take bets on which way it goes?
Have a fantastic weekend!!
Peace and love,
Alannah
So, what am I reading?
J.R. Ward's CRAVE!!!!
My awesome friend, Liza, was kind enough to get me an autographed copy at the Kentucky booksigning. I managed to wait an entire twenty-four hours before starting on it.
Now, the real test will be...can I use it as a reward for getting my writing done each day. Or will discipline totally fly out the window and I won't write another word until after I've finished the book? LOL
Anyone want to take bets on which way it goes?
Have a fantastic weekend!!
Peace and love,
Alannah
Thursday, October 21, 2010
I wish I was this quick-witted!!
Best Comebacks Man: “Haven’t we met before?”
Woman: “Perhaps. I’m the receptionist at the VD Clinic.”
Man: “Haven’t I seen you someplace before?
Woman: “Yeah, that’s why I don’t go there anymore.”
Man: “Is this seat empty?”
Woman: “Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.”
Man: “So, wanna go back to my place ?”
Woman: “Well, I don’t know. Will two people fit under a rock?”
Man: “Your place or mine?”
Woman: “Both. You go to yours and I’ll go to mine.”
Man: “I’d like to call you. What’s your number?”
Woman: “It’s in the phone book.”
Man: “But I don’t know your name.”
Woman: “That’s in the phone book too.”
Man: “So what do you do for a living?”
Woman: “I’m a female impersonator.”
Man: “Hey, baby, what’s your sign?”
Woman: “Do not Enter”
Man: “How do you like your eggs in the morning?”
Woman: “Unfertilized.”
Man: “Hey, come on, we’re both here at this bar for the same reason.”
Woman: “Yeah! Let’s pick up some chicks!”
Man: “I know how to please a woman.”
Woman: “Then please leave me alone.”
Man: “I want to give myself to you.”
Woman: “Sorry, I don’t accept cheap gifts.”
Man: “I’d go through anything for you.”
Woman: “Good! Let’s start with your bank account.”
Man: “I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: “Yes, but would you stay there?
Please be sure to stop by tomorrow and say hello to my Writing With the Stars mentor, HelenKay Dimon!!
Have a great Thursday!
Peace and love,
Alannah
Best Comebacks Man: “Haven’t we met before?”
Woman: “Perhaps. I’m the receptionist at the VD Clinic.”
Man: “Haven’t I seen you someplace before?
Woman: “Yeah, that’s why I don’t go there anymore.”
Man: “Is this seat empty?”
Woman: “Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.”
Man: “So, wanna go back to my place ?”
Woman: “Well, I don’t know. Will two people fit under a rock?”
Man: “Your place or mine?”
Woman: “Both. You go to yours and I’ll go to mine.”
Man: “I’d like to call you. What’s your number?”
Woman: “It’s in the phone book.”
Man: “But I don’t know your name.”
Woman: “That’s in the phone book too.”
Man: “So what do you do for a living?”
Woman: “I’m a female impersonator.”
Man: “Hey, baby, what’s your sign?”
Woman: “Do not Enter”
Man: “How do you like your eggs in the morning?”
Woman: “Unfertilized.”
Man: “Hey, come on, we’re both here at this bar for the same reason.”
Woman: “Yeah! Let’s pick up some chicks!”
Man: “I know how to please a woman.”
Woman: “Then please leave me alone.”
Man: “I want to give myself to you.”
Woman: “Sorry, I don’t accept cheap gifts.”
Man: “I’d go through anything for you.”
Woman: “Good! Let’s start with your bank account.”
Man: “I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: “Yes, but would you stay there?
Please be sure to stop by tomorrow and say hello to my Writing With the Stars mentor, HelenKay Dimon!!
Have a great Thursday!
Peace and love,
Alannah
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Hump Day Humor....
During one of her daily classes, a teacher, trying to teach good manners, asked her students the following question:
"Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?"
Michael said, "Just a minute I have to go pee."
The teacher responded by saying,"That would be rude and impolite. What about you Sherman, how would you say it?"
Sherman said, "I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back."
"That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table. And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your
good manners?"
"I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope to introduce you to after dinner."
Gotta love little Johnny!!
Happy Hump Day!
Peace and love,
Alannah
"Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?"
Michael said, "Just a minute I have to go pee."
The teacher responded by saying,"That would be rude and impolite. What about you Sherman, how would you say it?"
Sherman said, "I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back."
"That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table. And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your
good manners?"
"I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope to introduce you to after dinner."
Gotta love little Johnny!!
Happy Hump Day!
Peace and love,
Alannah
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Food For Thought...
"There's plenty of intelligence in the world, but the courage to do things differently is in short supply."
Marilyn vos Savant
Columnist, Author and Lecturer
I'm guest blogging today at HelenKay Dimon's, talking about my years as a Mary Kay lady, and the awesome compliment my son gave me this weekend. Please drop by and say hi to me over there if you have a chance. Thanks!!
Have a fantastic day!!
Peace and love,
Alannah
Marilyn vos Savant
Columnist, Author and Lecturer
I'm guest blogging today at HelenKay Dimon's, talking about my years as a Mary Kay lady, and the awesome compliment my son gave me this weekend. Please drop by and say hi to me over there if you have a chance. Thanks!!
Have a fantastic day!!
Peace and love,
Alannah
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Begging for Votes for a friend
One of the coolest things about being a finalist in the Kensington Brava Writing With the Stars contest is all the new friends I've made. Not only other contestants in this contest, but contestants in other contests, as well.
One of those friends is Romance Diva Kat Cantrell.
Kat is a finalist in the Mills & Boon New Voices Contest. Voting for that contest ends tomorrow (Sunday) night.
Please go vote for Kat's story, Thigh Noon.
Thank you!!!!!
Have a fantastic weekend!
Peace and love,
Alannah
One of those friends is Romance Diva Kat Cantrell.
Kat is a finalist in the Mills & Boon New Voices Contest. Voting for that contest ends tomorrow (Sunday) night.
Please go vote for Kat's story, Thigh Noon.
Thank you!!!!!
Have a fantastic weekend!
Peace and love,
Alannah
Friday, October 15, 2010
LAST CALL Excerpt
There had been some question as to whether or not we could post an excerpt from our contest entry. The powers that be have said we can, so here is the scene where my characters realize they're on opposite sides of the fence. It's the same excerpt that was posted on Mia Marlowe's blog earlier this week, so if you popped over there, you've already seen it. I'll see if I can do another excerpt next week.
Excerpt from LAST CAL:
“I’m looking for A. L. Black.”
Sunny narrowed her eyes on him like he was a bug that needed squashed. “Why?”
He took a step closer. “I work for Holden Enterprises. We...Max Holden is interested in buying this property. All of his phone calls have gone unreturned, so he sent me to find the owner.”
In the blink of an eye, her demeanor shifted from guarded to combative. Her pupils narrowed to pinpoints. Her lips compressed around the sucker stick, and the rapid rise and fall of her chest had him a concerned she might hyperventilate.
In response to her anger, Gavin’s heart rate picked up, and sweat broke out on his forehead. He didn’t like upsetting Sunny. But her fiery passion, even in the form of anger, cranked his libido into orbit.
“The property isn’t for sale.”
He really wanted to loosen his tie, but that would send a clear signal he was hot and bothered, and it was imperative he gave nothing away. “Mr. Holden is willing to pay a generous sum. More than enough for…” He hesitated, wanting to refer to A.L. as “mister,” but knowing in his gut, he was staring straight into Ms. Black’s gunmetal gray eyes. “The amount would be more than enough to purchase another building, and move the bar to that location.”
Sunny stepped down to the floor and stalked toward him, stopping only when they were toe to toe. Her head barely reached his neck, so she had to crane her neck back to look him in the eye.
But the size difference didn’t matter to her.
She threw her shoulders back, and glared with unyielding determination. “You can tell Mr. Holden this property isn’t, nor will it ever be, for sale. Regardless of his generous amount.”
Have a fantastic weekend!!!
Peace and love,
Alannah
Excerpt from LAST CAL:
“I’m looking for A. L. Black.”
Sunny narrowed her eyes on him like he was a bug that needed squashed. “Why?”
He took a step closer. “I work for Holden Enterprises. We...Max Holden is interested in buying this property. All of his phone calls have gone unreturned, so he sent me to find the owner.”
In the blink of an eye, her demeanor shifted from guarded to combative. Her pupils narrowed to pinpoints. Her lips compressed around the sucker stick, and the rapid rise and fall of her chest had him a concerned she might hyperventilate.
In response to her anger, Gavin’s heart rate picked up, and sweat broke out on his forehead. He didn’t like upsetting Sunny. But her fiery passion, even in the form of anger, cranked his libido into orbit.
“The property isn’t for sale.”
He really wanted to loosen his tie, but that would send a clear signal he was hot and bothered, and it was imperative he gave nothing away. “Mr. Holden is willing to pay a generous sum. More than enough for…” He hesitated, wanting to refer to A.L. as “mister,” but knowing in his gut, he was staring straight into Ms. Black’s gunmetal gray eyes. “The amount would be more than enough to purchase another building, and move the bar to that location.”
Sunny stepped down to the floor and stalked toward him, stopping only when they were toe to toe. Her head barely reached his neck, so she had to crane her neck back to look him in the eye.
But the size difference didn’t matter to her.
She threw her shoulders back, and glared with unyielding determination. “You can tell Mr. Holden this property isn’t, nor will it ever be, for sale. Regardless of his generous amount.”
Have a fantastic weekend!!!
Peace and love,
Alannah
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Please Welcome Meredith Simmons - WWTS Finalist
One of the things I've most enjoyed because of the Writing With the Stars Comtest is all the great, new friends I've made. Meredith is one of the finalists, who also happens to live 45 minutes from me!! Merry is an experienced traveler and she's here to give us a few trips on taking amazing vacations on a budget. Please give her a warm welcome!
Goin’ Places
I was really excited when Alannah asked me to do a guest blog, and then I realized I wasn’t an expert on anything. When it comes to writing, I’m still in learning mode and what I don’t know, I make up as I go along. I didn’t feel competent to give advice there.
The one thing I do enjoy, and do a lot of, is travel. The problem with having an unquenchable desire to see what is on the far side of every hill is that it costs so darned much, so I’ve learned how to go places on the cheap. Now, the use of the word “cheap” is relative, but travel can be much less expensive than you think.
Last year, my husband and I made a cross-country road trip. It was the third such trip in the past 4 years and we’ve now visited or re-visited all 48 contiguous states. We live in such an amazing and gorgeous country, it is not to be missed. We drove about 7,500 miles on this particular journey, which took a month.
Our average cost per night for a room was $67, which I think falls into the cheap category. Now, I will admit we didn’t stay in any 5 star hotels recommended by Conde Nast, but all our accommodations were clean, well-appointed, and had great beds. The secret – research and staying in small towns instead of cities or those motel villages that have grown up around interstate intersections. In small towns, there are still charming mom-and-pop motels, lovingly maintained with the owners frequently living on-site. They take great pride in what they offer. They can also point you to the best local restaurants. Some of these are places you might have driven by looking for a national chain, but both the food and the prices are usually better in recommended restaurants. And there are often additional perks. I’ll never forget the Halloween night we had dinner at a very small restaurant in a very small Texas town and had a fantastic floor show as every child in the county tromped in to show off his costume and get a small pie.
To find these more out-of-the-way motels, you have to spend time on the internet doing research, but not only can you find such places, there are even reviews available. And always, always make reservations. If you just drive in to any motel along the road, I promise you will pay the highest price. This particularly holds true if you do stay in a metropolitan area. For this I recommend Hotwire. There may be other websites that are as good, but I’ve never had any problem with a Hotwire hotel. Yes, it is irritating you don’t know the name of the hotel until you book, but all the amenities are listed and the basic location given, so what’s in a name? In a few weeks, we’re flying in and out of LAX and needed a hotel at the airport. We’re staying at a Radisson Hotel on the way out and at a Sheraton on the way back – and yes, they were both under $70 a night. Thank you Hotwire.
If you’re traveling in the US, you should consider getting an America the Beautiful Pass to all the National Parks and Monuments. This pass, which gives the car and everyone in it access to the parks, costs $80 for a year. If you can mange to be in a car with someone 62 or older, you can get the Senior version of this which is an amazing $10 for life. Okay, I admit we use the $10 version, and have seen some of the most amazing sights in the world. The National Park system is on one the jewels of the US and there’s something to interest everyone. One hint is to visit the parks slightly off season. Yellowstone in the spring is wonderful – lots of animals and no traffic. In the summer, it’s a different story. Plus, the surrounding motel rooms are more expensive “in season.”
A road trip is always filled with adventures. This last one had more adventure than we anticipated. On a winding mountain road in Wyoming, a large deer leaped over a barrier and appeared right in front of our car. We couldn’t avoid hitting him. Unfortunately, the deer lost the encounter, but our car was also very damaged. We pounded on a lot of sheet metal and used a lot of duct tape, but we got the car drivable and proceeded on. You see, there was this other tall hill and I wanted to know what was on the other side.
Bio -
Meredith Simmons is one of the excited finalists in the Brava/RT Writing with the Stars contest. She’s previously published short fiction, primarily science fiction and fantasy. Her eleventh published short story recently appeared in the June Realms of Fantasy.
When she’s not chasing elusive words around on her computer keyboard, she’s off on adventures. Her latest trip will be a month-long cruise to the islands of the South Pacific. Just look for the woman singing “Bali Hai.” You can always find Meredith at her website www.meredithsimmons.com. The theme there is, unsurprisingly, a journey.
Me again....What a great article, Merry!!! Thanks so much for sharing your trip tips! It's been a long time since I drove across the country - '92, to be exact - but you've made me want to get in the car and go!
Thanks for joining me today. Please come back and share the details of your month long trip to the S. Pacific. I'm sure you'll have fabulous stories to tell!
How about you guys, do you have any questions?
Have a great Thursday!
Peace and love,
Alannah
Goin’ Places
I was really excited when Alannah asked me to do a guest blog, and then I realized I wasn’t an expert on anything. When it comes to writing, I’m still in learning mode and what I don’t know, I make up as I go along. I didn’t feel competent to give advice there.
The one thing I do enjoy, and do a lot of, is travel. The problem with having an unquenchable desire to see what is on the far side of every hill is that it costs so darned much, so I’ve learned how to go places on the cheap. Now, the use of the word “cheap” is relative, but travel can be much less expensive than you think.
Last year, my husband and I made a cross-country road trip. It was the third such trip in the past 4 years and we’ve now visited or re-visited all 48 contiguous states. We live in such an amazing and gorgeous country, it is not to be missed. We drove about 7,500 miles on this particular journey, which took a month.
Our average cost per night for a room was $67, which I think falls into the cheap category. Now, I will admit we didn’t stay in any 5 star hotels recommended by Conde Nast, but all our accommodations were clean, well-appointed, and had great beds. The secret – research and staying in small towns instead of cities or those motel villages that have grown up around interstate intersections. In small towns, there are still charming mom-and-pop motels, lovingly maintained with the owners frequently living on-site. They take great pride in what they offer. They can also point you to the best local restaurants. Some of these are places you might have driven by looking for a national chain, but both the food and the prices are usually better in recommended restaurants. And there are often additional perks. I’ll never forget the Halloween night we had dinner at a very small restaurant in a very small Texas town and had a fantastic floor show as every child in the county tromped in to show off his costume and get a small pie.
To find these more out-of-the-way motels, you have to spend time on the internet doing research, but not only can you find such places, there are even reviews available. And always, always make reservations. If you just drive in to any motel along the road, I promise you will pay the highest price. This particularly holds true if you do stay in a metropolitan area. For this I recommend Hotwire. There may be other websites that are as good, but I’ve never had any problem with a Hotwire hotel. Yes, it is irritating you don’t know the name of the hotel until you book, but all the amenities are listed and the basic location given, so what’s in a name? In a few weeks, we’re flying in and out of LAX and needed a hotel at the airport. We’re staying at a Radisson Hotel on the way out and at a Sheraton on the way back – and yes, they were both under $70 a night. Thank you Hotwire.
If you’re traveling in the US, you should consider getting an America the Beautiful Pass to all the National Parks and Monuments. This pass, which gives the car and everyone in it access to the parks, costs $80 for a year. If you can mange to be in a car with someone 62 or older, you can get the Senior version of this which is an amazing $10 for life. Okay, I admit we use the $10 version, and have seen some of the most amazing sights in the world. The National Park system is on one the jewels of the US and there’s something to interest everyone. One hint is to visit the parks slightly off season. Yellowstone in the spring is wonderful – lots of animals and no traffic. In the summer, it’s a different story. Plus, the surrounding motel rooms are more expensive “in season.”
A road trip is always filled with adventures. This last one had more adventure than we anticipated. On a winding mountain road in Wyoming, a large deer leaped over a barrier and appeared right in front of our car. We couldn’t avoid hitting him. Unfortunately, the deer lost the encounter, but our car was also very damaged. We pounded on a lot of sheet metal and used a lot of duct tape, but we got the car drivable and proceeded on. You see, there was this other tall hill and I wanted to know what was on the other side.
Bio -
Meredith Simmons is one of the excited finalists in the Brava/RT Writing with the Stars contest. She’s previously published short fiction, primarily science fiction and fantasy. Her eleventh published short story recently appeared in the June Realms of Fantasy.
When she’s not chasing elusive words around on her computer keyboard, she’s off on adventures. Her latest trip will be a month-long cruise to the islands of the South Pacific. Just look for the woman singing “Bali Hai.” You can always find Meredith at her website www.meredithsimmons.com. The theme there is, unsurprisingly, a journey.
Me again....What a great article, Merry!!! Thanks so much for sharing your trip tips! It's been a long time since I drove across the country - '92, to be exact - but you've made me want to get in the car and go!
Thanks for joining me today. Please come back and share the details of your month long trip to the S. Pacific. I'm sure you'll have fabulous stories to tell!
How about you guys, do you have any questions?
Have a great Thursday!
Peace and love,
Alannah
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Hump Day Humor....
I got nothing!! I tried to download some funny pictures from an e-mail my mom sent me, but my computer won't cooperate.
So, I was thinking we could do something a little different.
Can you guys share a joke with me? Or something that has made you laugh in the past week?
Next week I'll do better. I promise! :)
Have a great hump day!!
Peace and love,
Alannah
So, I was thinking we could do something a little different.
Can you guys share a joke with me? Or something that has made you laugh in the past week?
Next week I'll do better. I promise! :)
Have a great hump day!!
Peace and love,
Alannah
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Food For Thought...
"Determination and perseverance move the world; thinking that others will do it for you is a sure way to fail."
Marva Collins
Educator
I'm guest-blogging at two different places today. If you have a chance, drop by and visit with me there.
The first is with Kensington author, Mia Marlowe. I'll be talking about Dale Earnhardt, Jr. and the influence he had on me getting LAST CALL written. Seriously. LOL
The second place I'll be hanging out at today is RomRevToday.com,
I hope it's a fantastic Tuesday for you!!!
Peace and love,
Alannah
Marva Collins
Educator
I'm guest-blogging at two different places today. If you have a chance, drop by and visit with me there.
The first is with Kensington author, Mia Marlowe. I'll be talking about Dale Earnhardt, Jr. and the influence he had on me getting LAST CALL written. Seriously. LOL
The second place I'll be hanging out at today is RomRevToday.com,
I hope it's a fantastic Tuesday for you!!!
Peace and love,
Alannah
Friday, October 8, 2010
Love Story
I've been wrapped up in a couple of projects so I haven't started anything new. Since that's the case, and we're all lovers of romance, I thought I'd share with you this love story of Ralph and Edna.
Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have. Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end.
He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.
Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled him out. When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.
When she went to tell Edna the news she said, 'Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged, since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love. I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness.
The bad news is, Ralph hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead.'
Edna replied, 'He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?'
I hope you have a fantastic weekend!!!
Peace and love,
Alannah
Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have. Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end.
He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.
Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled him out. When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.
When she went to tell Edna the news she said, 'Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged, since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love. I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness.
The bad news is, Ralph hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead.'
Edna replied, 'He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?'
I hope you have a fantastic weekend!!!
Peace and love,
Alannah
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Where Did Piss Poor Come From?
This is all very educational... and sometimes funny! Enjoy :)
Interesting History
They used to use urine to tan animal skins, so families used to all pee in a pot & then once a day it was taken & sold to the tannery.......if you had to do this to survive you were "Piss Poor."
But worse than that were the really poor folk who couldn't even afford to buy a pot......they "didn't have a pot to piss in" & were the lowest of the low.
The next time you are washing your hands and complain because the water temperature isn't just how you like it, think about how things used to be. Here are some facts about the 1500s:
Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May, and they still smelled pretty good by June. However, since they were starting to smell. Brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor. Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married.
Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children. Last of all the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it. Hence the saying, "Don't throw the baby out with the Bath water!"
Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw-piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof. When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof...Hence the saying "It's raining cats and dogs."
There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could mess up your nice clean bed. Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection. That's how canopy beds came into existence.
The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt. Hence the saying, "Dirt poor."
The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on floor to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on, they added more thresh until, when you opened the door, it would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entrance-way. Hence: a thresh hold.
Getting quite an education, aren't you?)
In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the fire...Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinnerm leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day. Sometimes stew had food in it that had been there for quite a while.
Hence the rhyme:
Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old.
Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special. When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off. It was a sign of wealth that a man could, "bring home the bacon." They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around and chew the fat.
Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with high acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food, causing lead poisoning death. This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous.
Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or the upper crust. Lead cups were used to drink ale or whiskey. The combination would sometimes knock the imbibers out for a couple of days.
Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up. Hence the custom of holding a wake.
England is old and small and the local folks started running out of places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a bone-house, and reuse the grave. When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive. So they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the graveyard shift.) to listen for the bell; thus, someone could be, saved by the bell or was considered a dead ringer.
And that's the truth....Now, whoever said history was boring!!! :)
Happy Thursday!!
Peace and love,
Alannah
Interesting History
They used to use urine to tan animal skins, so families used to all pee in a pot & then once a day it was taken & sold to the tannery.......if you had to do this to survive you were "Piss Poor."
But worse than that were the really poor folk who couldn't even afford to buy a pot......they "didn't have a pot to piss in" & were the lowest of the low.
The next time you are washing your hands and complain because the water temperature isn't just how you like it, think about how things used to be. Here are some facts about the 1500s:
Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May, and they still smelled pretty good by June. However, since they were starting to smell. Brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor. Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married.
Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children. Last of all the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it. Hence the saying, "Don't throw the baby out with the Bath water!"
Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw-piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof. When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof...Hence the saying "It's raining cats and dogs."
There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could mess up your nice clean bed. Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection. That's how canopy beds came into existence.
The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt. Hence the saying, "Dirt poor."
The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on floor to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on, they added more thresh until, when you opened the door, it would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entrance-way. Hence: a thresh hold.
Getting quite an education, aren't you?)
In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the fire...Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinnerm leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day. Sometimes stew had food in it that had been there for quite a while.
Hence the rhyme:
Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old.
Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special. When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off. It was a sign of wealth that a man could, "bring home the bacon." They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around and chew the fat.
Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with high acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food, causing lead poisoning death. This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous.
Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or the upper crust. Lead cups were used to drink ale or whiskey. The combination would sometimes knock the imbibers out for a couple of days.
Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up. Hence the custom of holding a wake.
England is old and small and the local folks started running out of places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a bone-house, and reuse the grave. When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive. So they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the graveyard shift.) to listen for the bell; thus, someone could be, saved by the bell or was considered a dead ringer.
And that's the truth....Now, whoever said history was boring!!! :)
Happy Thursday!!
Peace and love,
Alannah
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Hump Day Humor....
If you're friends with me on Facebook you might have already seen this video. Or, if you're friends with Monica Burns you might have seen it. She's the one who originally posted it and I stole it from her.
I have watched this video over and over and over and I can't help but LMAO every time! This kid's eyes, the way he moves his head and shoulders. All of it make me roll with laughter every time. And the longer the song goes, the more into it he gets. It gives new meaning to dance and sing as if no one is watching (but millions have watched!)
I hope it makes you laugh, or at least smile, too!
Happy Hump Day!!!
Peace and love,
Alannah
I have watched this video over and over and over and I can't help but LMAO every time! This kid's eyes, the way he moves his head and shoulders. All of it make me roll with laughter every time. And the longer the song goes, the more into it he gets. It gives new meaning to dance and sing as if no one is watching (but millions have watched!)
I hope it makes you laugh, or at least smile, too!
Happy Hump Day!!!
Peace and love,
Alannah
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Food For Thought...
Through my RWA Online chapter, a group of us are doing The Artist's Way together. I've started it too many times to count, but I've never finished it. This time, I'm going to finish!! Dammit!!
We're in the first week, so I'll keep you posted on how I do. :)
There was a quote that caught my eye today and really resonated with me, so I thought I'd share it with you.
Man is asked to make of himself what he is supposed to become to fulfill his destiny. ~ Paul Tillich
A little long and wordy, and takes reading a few times to really get, but I really, really liked it. Hope you do too.
Have a fantastic Tuesday!!
Peace and love,
Alannah
We're in the first week, so I'll keep you posted on how I do. :)
There was a quote that caught my eye today and really resonated with me, so I thought I'd share it with you.
Man is asked to make of himself what he is supposed to become to fulfill his destiny. ~ Paul Tillich
A little long and wordy, and takes reading a few times to really get, but I really, really liked it. Hope you do too.
Have a fantastic Tuesday!!
Peace and love,
Alannah
Friday, October 1, 2010
I really enjoy Nina Bangs' books, and it's been a while since I read one. Here are the details from her website for the one I'm reading now.
THE ELEVEN—an alliance of ultimate predators. Primal, lethal, irresistible.
THE PROPHECY—an ancient Mayan prediction that the world will end on 12-21-12.
THE PREY—where can you hide from pure evil?
Lies. He’s been promised a new life as the hunter he once was. But Al soon learns that all the rules have changed. Now he must control his most basic urges—the need to kill, to feed, to mate. And the woman he wants looks at him with both heat and fear in her eyes. Jenna Maloy doesn’t buy the story that he’s come to Philadelphia to save souls. She seems to see through the layers of deception to the primitive heart of him. With her beside him, Al stalks the dark forces that crouch in the city’s night shadows. But the real battle rages in his heart. Love is a formidable opponent. How can he ask her to stay with him after she’s seen the savagery of his beast? He only knows that if she turns from him he’ll be cursed with an Eternal Craving.
Eleven Gods of the Night…
The only creatures more deadly are the ones they’ve been summoned to destroy.
The rains have stopped, and I'm looking forward to a beautiful weekend. I hope it's fantastic for all of you, as well!!
Peace and love,
Alannah
THE ELEVEN—an alliance of ultimate predators. Primal, lethal, irresistible.
THE PROPHECY—an ancient Mayan prediction that the world will end on 12-21-12.
THE PREY—where can you hide from pure evil?
Lies. He’s been promised a new life as the hunter he once was. But Al soon learns that all the rules have changed. Now he must control his most basic urges—the need to kill, to feed, to mate. And the woman he wants looks at him with both heat and fear in her eyes. Jenna Maloy doesn’t buy the story that he’s come to Philadelphia to save souls. She seems to see through the layers of deception to the primitive heart of him. With her beside him, Al stalks the dark forces that crouch in the city’s night shadows. But the real battle rages in his heart. Love is a formidable opponent. How can he ask her to stay with him after she’s seen the savagery of his beast? He only knows that if she turns from him he’ll be cursed with an Eternal Craving.
Eleven Gods of the Night…
The only creatures more deadly are the ones they’ve been summoned to destroy.
The rains have stopped, and I'm looking forward to a beautiful weekend. I hope it's fantastic for all of you, as well!!
Peace and love,
Alannah
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